About Me
- Name: SixBillion
- Location: San Diego, California, United States
You should get to know me because; I shower twice a day, to know me is to love me, its guaranteed that your life will be better if im in it, cuz id suck the poison out of your ass if you got bit by a snake while taking a squat in the desert, ill tell you what u need to hear not what you want to hear, im honest, i keep it real, i try laugh as much as i can, ill kick the shit out of anyone that hurts you, im reasonable, im very anti drama, you'll like my friends, im super loyal, I'd take a bullet for you, i'll probably be rich, being rich doesn't matter to me, i like to go out, i like to stay in, and Im going to save the world.
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The SixBillionTheory is a comprehensive collection of thoughts and ideals of one individual. What is the SixBillionTheory? The real question is...Will you care?
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Went through some things this weekend. Thanksgiving was cool. It was the same tradition as always. Had my pumpkin pie and all was well. But yah, this weekend it really hit me how lonely I really am. I thought I was just sad over a mistake on my college app. But nah, I realized its deeper than that. It's been building up a long time. Ive just gotten really good at ignoring it. The last couple of weeks I've been really outta my mind on the weekends. Like its been really annoying for me when we didn't do anything. And i just felt like I didn't want to kick it anymore. It like wasn't any fun anymore. And that I've been really looking forward to going to college and starting over. Making new friends and stuff. But i realized it wasn't that i wanted new friends or someting like that, I just need a woman in my life. For real though...It's pain. It's hurting pretty bad actually. I haven't been this way in years. I dunno whats going on with me, actually i do. But i dont even want to say it on here cuz i gave that notion up a long time ago. Although its hard to stop thinking like that. I guess I can't ignore it anymore. But on a lighter note. Tonight i did rediscover the fun of kicking it wit just the homies. Its been forever, but finally the $5 Championship has changed holders. Blaise threw up on purpose next to Blockbuster. It was hella gross, there was chunks and this long ass noodle. I wish i had took a picture of it.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Is life too short to settle for anything? Or is life too short not to settle?
Saturday, November 22, 2003
Untitled
IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain
_Emily Dickinson_
Just found this poem and it reminded me of 5th grade when i first read it. Mrs. Trigg had a poetry circle and this was the first poem i shared. Hah, everyone was sharing Dr. Seuss and stuff and here i am reading Emily Dickinson. I think 5th grade was my start with poetry. I should thank Mrs. Trigg. But anyways when i first read the poem i instantly understood it. And to this day it has had a big influence on my views.
IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain
_Emily Dickinson_
Just found this poem and it reminded me of 5th grade when i first read it. Mrs. Trigg had a poetry circle and this was the first poem i shared. Hah, everyone was sharing Dr. Seuss and stuff and here i am reading Emily Dickinson. I think 5th grade was my start with poetry. I should thank Mrs. Trigg. But anyways when i first read the poem i instantly understood it. And to this day it has had a big influence on my views.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Mom the Night time Ninja...
Today i had a memory from when i was growing up. As a child i hated having my nails cut. So, at night my mom would sneak into my bedroom, silent as a ninja, with only some nailclippers. And she would do it, she'd cut my nails without detection. One time I did wake up though. Man that is frickin weird, waking up to someone cutting your nails. But yah i guess thats where i get my stealthiness from.
Today i had a memory from when i was growing up. As a child i hated having my nails cut. So, at night my mom would sneak into my bedroom, silent as a ninja, with only some nailclippers. And she would do it, she'd cut my nails without detection. One time I did wake up though. Man that is frickin weird, waking up to someone cutting your nails. But yah i guess thats where i get my stealthiness from.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I am admittedly...
...a Rerun Reciter. I love reciting lines from old TV shows and movies that I've seen a million times. I guess it reminds me of a less stressful time in my life or of laughs I've had.
...a Giddy Gamer. A couple days ago i played some old SNES games(Mario Kart). And i got hella giddy like a lil kid. I wasn't acting or anything, i seriously was just that happy. Playing the old games really brought me back. I think i cackled or laughed maniacally a couple times.. its good stuff though
...a Rerun Reciter. I love reciting lines from old TV shows and movies that I've seen a million times. I guess it reminds me of a less stressful time in my life or of laughs I've had.
...a Giddy Gamer. A couple days ago i played some old SNES games(Mario Kart). And i got hella giddy like a lil kid. I wasn't acting or anything, i seriously was just that happy. Playing the old games really brought me back. I think i cackled or laughed maniacally a couple times.. its good stuff though
Sunday, November 09, 2003
This next post is about things i get excited about. Which basically translates to what im passionate about. What i love doing. Things that fill you with anticipation til the moment you do it.
I get excited about...
... 777
... Having those oh so rare deep conversations.
... Driving. Usually, however never in traffic.
... Solving a mystery.
... Going on capers. ie. "Taildaters(homeVideoStyle)" being stealthy is a challenge.
... Making people laugh.
... Laughing with people.
... Figuring someone out.
... Actually helping someone.
... Playing speed with a worthy adversary.
... Reading people's info and away messages.
... "Good" girls.
... Noticing things other people don't or just take for granted.
*Very exciting for me..
I get excited about...
... 777
... Having those oh so rare deep conversations.
... Driving. Usually, however never in traffic.
... Solving a mystery.
... Going on capers. ie. "Taildaters(homeVideoStyle)" being stealthy is a challenge.
... Making people laugh.
... Laughing with people.
... Figuring someone out.
... Actually helping someone.
... Playing speed with a worthy adversary.
... Reading people's info and away messages.
... "Good" girls.
... Noticing things other people don't or just take for granted.
*Very exciting for me..
Today i got 777 on a slot machine. WooHoo! But yah it was only a quarter machine and i only got 25$ but it still kicked ass. When i cashed out i was 30$ richer.
Saturday, November 08, 2003
I saw a shooting start tonight! WooHoo!
It was on top of Mt Soledad.
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
It was on top of Mt Soledad.
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Starting to think its time to put away these childish dreams, get my life together, and move on.
Corinthians I, Chapter 13, Verse 11
Corinthians I, Chapter 13, Verse 11
The day the Idealist Died
The Idealist died today,
and with him so did tomorrow.
Without his dreams and vision,
they'll just accept their sorrow.
He drowned in an ocean,
of comments quixotic.
Received as a dreamer
and borderline psychotic.
The Romantic died yesterday,
but his death was a slow one.
His heart froze to silence,
from years of beating for no one.
He had no one to live for,
so he just stopped breathing.
But it wasn't the apathy,
it was her not believing.
I, will die tomorrow,
my virtues are extinct,
the opposite being true,
of everything I think.
I'm choking on bitterness,
from the Romantic and Idealist.
I'll surrender to sterility
and conform to be a realist.
Written on 10/06/03
The Idealist died today,
and with him so did tomorrow.
Without his dreams and vision,
they'll just accept their sorrow.
He drowned in an ocean,
of comments quixotic.
Received as a dreamer
and borderline psychotic.
The Romantic died yesterday,
but his death was a slow one.
His heart froze to silence,
from years of beating for no one.
He had no one to live for,
so he just stopped breathing.
But it wasn't the apathy,
it was her not believing.
I, will die tomorrow,
my virtues are extinct,
the opposite being true,
of everything I think.
I'm choking on bitterness,
from the Romantic and Idealist.
I'll surrender to sterility
and conform to be a realist.
Written on 10/06/03
I am admittedly...
...a high-five whore. Slap HANDS! Current record: 15 consecutive high-5s from strangers.
...a spicy food sadomasochist. I dunno why i enjoy eating way too spicy food, but i do.
...a high-five whore. Slap HANDS! Current record: 15 consecutive high-5s from strangers.
...a spicy food sadomasochist. I dunno why i enjoy eating way too spicy food, but i do.
Sunday, November 02, 2003
Lately I've been hearing that love doesn't last forever. That the idea of being with one person for the rest of your life is ludacris. LUDACRIS! Well to that I can only say thats BS. In the words of Glenn's profile.
" No matter how much you think something is not possible--it is, you just gave up."
And similarly I've said. Prolly not the first to, but hey its still original.
" Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.
And some things can never be true no matter how much you believe in them.
And finally some things, can be true if everyone believed in them. "
Of course you can. Look at it this way. You can love friends and family forever. So how come romantic love can't?
O, you say its different? Why? It really isn't. The only love worth experiencing or that deserves to be spoken of, or to just exist, is unconditional love. Its the only real love, true love i should say. And it does last forever. Theres only one kind of love but a thousand copies. If yer going to put down love at least say it doesn't exist. But then if it doesn't then what have you got to live for? Sounds like an unfulfilling materialistic meaningless existance.
" No matter how much you think something is not possible--it is, you just gave up."
And similarly I've said. Prolly not the first to, but hey its still original.
" Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.
And some things can never be true no matter how much you believe in them.
And finally some things, can be true if everyone believed in them. "
Of course you can. Look at it this way. You can love friends and family forever. So how come romantic love can't?
O, you say its different? Why? It really isn't. The only love worth experiencing or that deserves to be spoken of, or to just exist, is unconditional love. Its the only real love, true love i should say. And it does last forever. Theres only one kind of love but a thousand copies. If yer going to put down love at least say it doesn't exist. But then if it doesn't then what have you got to live for? Sounds like an unfulfilling materialistic meaningless existance.
The Day I didn't have tissues.
If you know me, you know that i usually keep a pack of tissues in my pocket at all times. It's something I've done since 3rd grade. I've always had a tissue for anyone who has to blow their nose or when i have to blow my nose or more importantly for when people were crying. Whenever, i see someone crying I'd freely offer some tissues, which were usually accepted thankfully. It is a simple way to provide some comfort, so i do it whenever possible. Today i had none on me and today, ironically enough, was the first time I've cried in, well at least months but probably years.
My parents dont get along anymore. They haven't for the past 4 or so years. In fact, its probably been longer. However, it was 4 years ago that i first found out. The worst thing that came of it was the fact that i knew that the only reason my dad and mom were still living together was because of me. And its really true, my father has told me so a couple times, including today. So, they are miserable because of me. They've told me not to think that way. But I can't help it. Its true. What also sucks is the fact that my brother is away at college and so theres only me at home to deal with it.
The worst thing of all is hearing that your mom is experiencing suicidal thoughts. She actually said, im tired of living. I mean the woman whos always kept you safe and tended to your wounds all of a sudden drops this bombshell. As i listened at how lonely and sad she was i couldn't help but break down and cry myself. Seeing one of your parents cry is one of the most heart wrenching experiences that you'll ever have. The people who stopped you from crying can't control their own tears. And i had the ugly face on. It was unrestricted and it came out. It all started at breakfast. My mom started complaining as usual because she had been holding it in all week and it was the only time we were all together. And my dad started to get frustrated and finally he said those words,words that send a chilld down your spine and make you hold your breath. " Your old enough to hear this now." As soon as he said, all i could think in my mind was
" Am i strong enough to handle this"
Throughout my life i have always helped people out, fairly successfully. But this problem, between people who have been together for 24 years and have 2 sons, i had no solution to. All i could do, was drop my usual idealistic shitload and hope that they would try. Even now all i can think is if they do separate, Am i strong enough to handle this?
If you know me, you know that i usually keep a pack of tissues in my pocket at all times. It's something I've done since 3rd grade. I've always had a tissue for anyone who has to blow their nose or when i have to blow my nose or more importantly for when people were crying. Whenever, i see someone crying I'd freely offer some tissues, which were usually accepted thankfully. It is a simple way to provide some comfort, so i do it whenever possible. Today i had none on me and today, ironically enough, was the first time I've cried in, well at least months but probably years.
My parents dont get along anymore. They haven't for the past 4 or so years. In fact, its probably been longer. However, it was 4 years ago that i first found out. The worst thing that came of it was the fact that i knew that the only reason my dad and mom were still living together was because of me. And its really true, my father has told me so a couple times, including today. So, they are miserable because of me. They've told me not to think that way. But I can't help it. Its true. What also sucks is the fact that my brother is away at college and so theres only me at home to deal with it.
The worst thing of all is hearing that your mom is experiencing suicidal thoughts. She actually said, im tired of living. I mean the woman whos always kept you safe and tended to your wounds all of a sudden drops this bombshell. As i listened at how lonely and sad she was i couldn't help but break down and cry myself. Seeing one of your parents cry is one of the most heart wrenching experiences that you'll ever have. The people who stopped you from crying can't control their own tears. And i had the ugly face on. It was unrestricted and it came out. It all started at breakfast. My mom started complaining as usual because she had been holding it in all week and it was the only time we were all together. And my dad started to get frustrated and finally he said those words,words that send a chilld down your spine and make you hold your breath. " Your old enough to hear this now." As soon as he said, all i could think in my mind was
" Am i strong enough to handle this"
Throughout my life i have always helped people out, fairly successfully. But this problem, between people who have been together for 24 years and have 2 sons, i had no solution to. All i could do, was drop my usual idealistic shitload and hope that they would try. Even now all i can think is if they do separate, Am i strong enough to handle this?
