About Me
- Name: SixBillion
- Location: San Diego, California, United States
You should get to know me because; I shower twice a day, to know me is to love me, its guaranteed that your life will be better if im in it, cuz id suck the poison out of your ass if you got bit by a snake while taking a squat in the desert, ill tell you what u need to hear not what you want to hear, im honest, i keep it real, i try laugh as much as i can, ill kick the shit out of anyone that hurts you, im reasonable, im very anti drama, you'll like my friends, im super loyal, I'd take a bullet for you, i'll probably be rich, being rich doesn't matter to me, i like to go out, i like to stay in, and Im going to save the world.
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The SixBillionTheory is a comprehensive collection of thoughts and ideals of one individual. What is the SixBillionTheory? The real question is...Will you care?
Thursday, June 17, 2004
The End.
This is the last entry I will ever write in this blog. The last couple years of my life have been loosely recorded here. Since the beginning of this Blog I haven't been a hundred percent honest about what it was all about. The SixBillionTheory is straight up about love; me finding love. The truth is that it was an experiment. An experiment that ended after my graduation of high school. The experiment's purpose was to see if I could find true love. To see if the whole "its whats on the inside that counts" statement is true. How would I know if its true love? Well, the way I saw it was, if a girl could love me for me, despite my appearance then I'd know that it was for who I am and no other reason. If she could love me at my worst, then I would know that she could always love me. There was a couple of potentials but ultimately they failed. So I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't exist; at least not for me. I admit this could be a weak conclusion, based on the fact that the experiment only lasted a couple years. But I can no longer risk being alone for the rest of my life or more likely because I'm just tired of being lonely. But it is decided that I need to move on with my life and just lose some weight and see what happens. This is a sad day for me as I am giving up on a belief I've had for the past few years. I don't even know if I can give up on it. But with the end of high school, I have a chance to start over. I can be whoever I want to be in college. This is my chance to break the never ending cycle of rejection. To cut ties with all my weaknesses and hindrances. I'll probably end up being the same person in college, which isn't so bad. I enjoyed my life in high school. I was content but never truly happy because something or rather someone was always lacking. Maybe I'll find a Korean girl or a Japanese girl...they have no idea what a Kuya is ^_~. Who am I kidding though. I love my Filipina women, they are truly what keeps my heart beating. This journal is coming to an end. However, the adventure is far from over. For example, I will be travelling to the Philippines on July 3rd til July 23rd. Who knows what new experiences I will have. Perhaps if you know me well enough you will hear about them in my new blog, but you will have to find out where it is through me. I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts and will some day quote me on them. Lets see, any last advice i should give.
Love is not about finding the person of your dreams. The person of your dreams is just in your mind. You think; I want her to be this tall, to look like this, to be able to do this. But those are just statistics. Love isn't about statistics. Its about what you feel. But you have to remember to only look with your heart and not your mind. You have to love purely and not out of fear or insecurity and you can't discount anyone. Keep an open heart and let people in. Wear your heart on your sleeve and be prepared to get hurt. It's the only way you'll ever find out what's real.
In the event of my demise...
In the event of my demise, I hope I die with a purpose and not in some senseless way. There was so much i wanted to do before my time was up. I wanted to leave the world better than I found it. But if do die in some stupid pointless way, have no worries. I also ask that any who feel responsible or guilty about my death in any way relieve themself of such burdens. I do not fear death and am not worried about the judgement of my soul. If you are however responsible for my death in any way, I forgive you and thank you for setting me free. Although, Im not completely happy about my life I feel blessed. I have had many blessings and it would be impossible to recount them all. I am thankful for my family, my friends, and my experiences. I've had the best of times and very few of the worst of times. I'm proud of who I am and how i came to my position in life. I have no major regrets as it was not my policy to live in such a way to cause them. I request that I be buried with the tears of all those who loved me and that this blog be revealed to everyone who knew me. I thank all who were positive in my life and in the event of my demise.
MO Santos
This is the last entry I will ever write in this blog. The last couple years of my life have been loosely recorded here. Since the beginning of this Blog I haven't been a hundred percent honest about what it was all about. The SixBillionTheory is straight up about love; me finding love. The truth is that it was an experiment. An experiment that ended after my graduation of high school. The experiment's purpose was to see if I could find true love. To see if the whole "its whats on the inside that counts" statement is true. How would I know if its true love? Well, the way I saw it was, if a girl could love me for me, despite my appearance then I'd know that it was for who I am and no other reason. If she could love me at my worst, then I would know that she could always love me. There was a couple of potentials but ultimately they failed. So I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't exist; at least not for me. I admit this could be a weak conclusion, based on the fact that the experiment only lasted a couple years. But I can no longer risk being alone for the rest of my life or more likely because I'm just tired of being lonely. But it is decided that I need to move on with my life and just lose some weight and see what happens. This is a sad day for me as I am giving up on a belief I've had for the past few years. I don't even know if I can give up on it. But with the end of high school, I have a chance to start over. I can be whoever I want to be in college. This is my chance to break the never ending cycle of rejection. To cut ties with all my weaknesses and hindrances. I'll probably end up being the same person in college, which isn't so bad. I enjoyed my life in high school. I was content but never truly happy because something or rather someone was always lacking. Maybe I'll find a Korean girl or a Japanese girl...they have no idea what a Kuya is ^_~. Who am I kidding though. I love my Filipina women, they are truly what keeps my heart beating. This journal is coming to an end. However, the adventure is far from over. For example, I will be travelling to the Philippines on July 3rd til July 23rd. Who knows what new experiences I will have. Perhaps if you know me well enough you will hear about them in my new blog, but you will have to find out where it is through me. I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts and will some day quote me on them. Lets see, any last advice i should give.
Love is not about finding the person of your dreams. The person of your dreams is just in your mind. You think; I want her to be this tall, to look like this, to be able to do this. But those are just statistics. Love isn't about statistics. Its about what you feel. But you have to remember to only look with your heart and not your mind. You have to love purely and not out of fear or insecurity and you can't discount anyone. Keep an open heart and let people in. Wear your heart on your sleeve and be prepared to get hurt. It's the only way you'll ever find out what's real.
In the event of my demise...
In the event of my demise, I hope I die with a purpose and not in some senseless way. There was so much i wanted to do before my time was up. I wanted to leave the world better than I found it. But if do die in some stupid pointless way, have no worries. I also ask that any who feel responsible or guilty about my death in any way relieve themself of such burdens. I do not fear death and am not worried about the judgement of my soul. If you are however responsible for my death in any way, I forgive you and thank you for setting me free. Although, Im not completely happy about my life I feel blessed. I have had many blessings and it would be impossible to recount them all. I am thankful for my family, my friends, and my experiences. I've had the best of times and very few of the worst of times. I'm proud of who I am and how i came to my position in life. I have no major regrets as it was not my policy to live in such a way to cause them. I request that I be buried with the tears of all those who loved me and that this blog be revealed to everyone who knew me. I thank all who were positive in my life and in the event of my demise.
MO Santos
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Foreshadowing...
The end is near...All will be revealed...
Dear Destiny & Fate,
You got four days.
Sincerely,
_Mark_
The end is near...All will be revealed...
Dear Destiny & Fate,
You got four days.
Sincerely,
_Mark_
End of Days...
Well to wrap up high school its been really fun. I couldn't have asked for a better ending. Its turning out really well. Prom was more fun than I ever imagined it could be. I owe it all to the best date in the world Melissa Bernal. I had a wonderful time and I hope she did too. We talked forever at dinner and were the last ones to finish. We sang to eachother during the slow songs and laughed during the fast ones. To sum up the night up I suggest New Found Glory - The Story So Far...Although to be honest im not sure about the best i've ever had...It was really good though...not awkward at all. After prom was a little crazy. I think i got shitfaced for the first time ever. I wasn't outta control but my motor functions were definitely affected. I didn't yak or stumble around but i was pretty dizzy. Uhhh, what can i say? It was Karla's fault really. We were playing speed 2 ( the one with the four cards on each side) for shots. I had a head start on drinking so I was lil less coordinated to begin with...then i lost two times in a row but shes super lightweight so the smirnoff she was sipping on and the shot she had earlier started to get to her and she ended up losing one. Then after that we just chilled. She yakked, but it wasn't too bad. Thin streams. And anyways everyone else got shitfaced. Darrell got pretty emotional, Blaise didn't drink too much, Nick got pretty loose, Chris talked a lot as usual, chuck got clingy on Hannah, and it was all good...No drama...couldn't ask for more you know. Dare I say it was the best night of my life...maybe. No hangover so its all good.. Stayed up the whole night pretty much...slept a little at 7am then woke up an hour or so later. Went to sleep at midnight on that Sunday.
Good times.
Well to wrap up high school its been really fun. I couldn't have asked for a better ending. Its turning out really well. Prom was more fun than I ever imagined it could be. I owe it all to the best date in the world Melissa Bernal. I had a wonderful time and I hope she did too. We talked forever at dinner and were the last ones to finish. We sang to eachother during the slow songs and laughed during the fast ones. To sum up the night up I suggest New Found Glory - The Story So Far...Although to be honest im not sure about the best i've ever had...It was really good though...not awkward at all. After prom was a little crazy. I think i got shitfaced for the first time ever. I wasn't outta control but my motor functions were definitely affected. I didn't yak or stumble around but i was pretty dizzy. Uhhh, what can i say? It was Karla's fault really. We were playing speed 2 ( the one with the four cards on each side) for shots. I had a head start on drinking so I was lil less coordinated to begin with...then i lost two times in a row but shes super lightweight so the smirnoff she was sipping on and the shot she had earlier started to get to her and she ended up losing one. Then after that we just chilled. She yakked, but it wasn't too bad. Thin streams. And anyways everyone else got shitfaced. Darrell got pretty emotional, Blaise didn't drink too much, Nick got pretty loose, Chris talked a lot as usual, chuck got clingy on Hannah, and it was all good...No drama...couldn't ask for more you know. Dare I say it was the best night of my life...maybe. No hangover so its all good.. Stayed up the whole night pretty much...slept a little at 7am then woke up an hour or so later. Went to sleep at midnight on that Sunday.
Good times.
