What is the SixBillionTheory?

So, does true love exist? One of the oldest questions I've ever asked. I still have no answer. If you asked me two years ago I would've said yes in a heartbeat, no hesitation. But as I've grown older I'm questioning it more and more. I wonder what has changed me so much over the years. I think the words to describe how i feel is despondent, dejected, and demoralized. The wind is gone from my sails and im lost drifting around in an endless sea. I truly feel more lost now than ever before. It's true what they say about teenagers thinking they know everything. I thought i had it all figured out. But lately I realize I dont. Is that a sign of maturity. Perhaps a significant phase in my development? I hope so. That would be just about the only good thing coming out of this state im in.
I guess i really don't believe in true love. I don't think that one day I'm going to walk by her and just know. It doesn't happen anymore. How many people do you know say they have found true love? I dont think i know anyone. I hardly hear about it from anyone anymore. But see the thing is...to me, believing in true love is like believing in God. and in some ways I dont think i could believe in one without the other. Well at least i use to think that way. But if there isn't true love, what is there? Cuz if you can love anybody. That just seems to be a lot of bullshit. I mean loving anyone. Isn't that just a crock of shit. You could wake up one day and not love the person sleeping next to you. Why does love go away? If it can, so easily, so whimsically then i think its meaningless. Maybe its wrong to take temporary love so lightly. If its all we get then i guess i should just jump on the bandwagon right. Like I've said before. True love is hard to find, so some people just fake it. Perhaps i just need to redefine what true love is. Maybe it isn't about destiny, maybe there isn't only one person for you. Maybe we just need to find somebody that we never stop loving and thats true love. Maybe its all bullshit. Maybe there is no God. There is no love. Maybe there is absolutely nothing. And all along human beings have just been making shit up to make life worth sticking around for.
Human beings are unique creatures in that we have the ability to think abstractly. It's the most significant evolutionary trait(among opposable thumbs and the ever popular orgasm) that has placed us at the top of the food chain. So could a side affect of this trait be our inclination to love, to have religion, to find meaning, even in things where there is none. By making stuff up to live for, we in essence have a evolutionary trait, in which those who made shit up lived longer therefore spreading their genes. Evolution=BS, because if we are ONLY products of evolution then life is meaningless and therefore BULLSHIT.
But i guess, even if there was no God or love. Life is still what you make it to be. We make things meaningful and i guess thats the path I'm headed. If there is no love fine. I'll pretend and lie to myself to be happy. We all do it. I guess its all kinda like magic. We all know its not real, but it still amazes us.

What i want to do is put the magic back into everyday life. I want everyone to believe in magic again. If i can't believe in it, too bad for me. I want people to find exciting things and to be surprised every once in a while. To find roses on their doorstep. To find a necklace in their purse. To wonder, to be excited, to as Kristina said have fireworks in their life.

I am admittedly...

...a believer of things not worth believing in.
...a bitter idealist.
...subject to commit RAR, Random Acts of Randomness
...subject to commit RAK, Random Acts of Kindness.
...a lover of women.
...a lover of blankets.( especially ones fresh out of the dryer)
...a lover of " if " questions.
...a lover of good conversation.

I want a girl who...

...is beautiful.
...knows what i mean by beautiful.(Not just in the skin deep sense)
...is talented.
...believes me when I tell her how I feel about her.
...is intelligent.
...knows how to cook.
...is physically active and likes to do stuff.
...calls me on my bullshit.
...asks me why(challenges me).
...is as dependent on me as much as I am to her.
...is strong(for times when i am weak).
...has her own opinions and doesn't just accept what she hears or reads.
...enjoys watching a Cosby Show marathon.
...enjoys watching a Full House marathon.
...enjoys watching a Simpsons marathon.
...enjoys watching a Family Guy marathon.
...enjoys watching Hackers.
...enjoys watching Office space.
...enjoys watching a Saved by the Bell marathon.
...enjoys watching a Family matters marathons.
...enjoys watching movies and tv shows over and over again.
...naturally wants to help other people.
...doesn't mind being generous.
...doesn't mind hard work.
...doesn't mind my quirks, perculiarities, and eccentricities.
...has quirks, perculiarities, and eccentricities of her own.
...likes to travel.
...likes to get out of the house.
...likes to sit around and just hang out.

*Are most important qualities

The rest are just frosting on the cake.

Well i live in San Diego and in case you dont recognize the date, today there was one of the worst firestorms in history. My house is intact and far from the fires and i dont really know anyone who has been made homeless today. Imagine waking up one day, thinking it was just going to be another quiet sunday, boring and slow like every other. But then all of sudden you take a look at the smoke filled sky and catch a breath of the smoke polluted air and realize something about today is not right and in fact is terribly wrong. There is no waking up, cuz despite the irrationality of it, its not a nightmare but a firestorm flashing images from television of the war in Iraq. Me however, am relatively close to the fire, maybe 5miles away. I woke up without any thoughts. I went out of my room and looked out the living room and saw the sky. The sun was not the right color and despite it being 10Am it seemed like dusk. So naturally i whipped out my handy dandy digital camera and proceeded to snap some shots of the sky, which was a golden orange color, and the sun which shined through a rich red.

Seeing the red sun made me think, " Its like God is angry at us." and it really seems like it. It was like God was angry at us and he allowed Hells flames to engulf the surrounding land. Thinking about it, it really seems like it was planned. An engineered catastrophe. For the past couple of weeks theres been a heat wave, which has probably dried out a lot of brush and trees. In addition a lot of our fire fighting equipment was sent up north to combat brush fires in San Bernardino and Rancho Cucamonga. So in a sense we were rather helpless, at the mercy of the wind, which was up to speeds of 60MPH. Well tomorrow im going to volunteer at the high school. And so obviously there is no school tomorrow. Which btw is pretty much the only time i can remember scheduled school shutting down. Quite a historic day. When im an old man i can say, " Oh yah, i remember that great firestorm of '03. I was there"

Well, I read this all a couple years ago, after my Melinda period. I realized that some of what the heartless bitches said is true. But i couldn't change. I see what i should be doing and what i could do but its not me. I do things because its the right thing to do. I dont complain, and since reading this( i think it was sophmore year) i've been going out of my way to make sure i dont get anything out of my good deeds. Maybe im really lying to myself, hardcore. But i dont think so. I've spent hours thinking and looking for the truth inside of me. And really, i believe my motives are pure. I help a lot of people I'm not attracted to, unless im lying to myself again. But really the whole denial concept is BS sometimes and gets really annoying. I honestly and purely would be content with one person for the rest of my life. Call it insecurity call it denial but that is truly what makes me want to continue living. We're on earth for eachother, so why not serve eachother. Not be slaves to eachother but help one another. The truth is some people are selfish just as some people are generous. We all need help, thats why its a society. We've chosen to exist among other human beings. Otherwise we would be in the forest on our own.
I dont understand why people get mad when people do small little things for them. I mean if someone bought u a car or a house or something then i understand. But a cup of coffee, a drink, a HOT POCKET. I. Because if everyone helped out everyone it would be all good for everyone.
I guess the only thing that bothers me is when good girls pick these huge @$$holes. Some of them seem like such controlling, insecure bitches. I accept that nice guys aren't even close to perfect but honestly "I make you smile but you rather have what makes you cry". What is that all about? Are these pretty, intelligent, talented girls insecure? Why do they need a guy who just makes them feel like shit. Is it because no man ever told her how great she is? Well, call me insecure call me manipulative, but I'm not going to stop telling girls what i think of them. It really makes me sad to see a great girl who doesn't know her worth, whose talents and peculiarities go unnoticed. So, I won't let it.
Although, it does cause the one thing i probably hate the most. When girls think you like them or are in love with them. That is the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. I dont know whether to feel sorry that they can't accept that a man is doing something nice for them out of the actual kindness of his heart or to be disgusted by their conceit.
Well as for the former, that is why i choose to do things randomly out of kindness. I feel that one of the reasons some girls question motives is because guys don't do stuff like that. Sure, totally understandable. But what that creates is, to quote Bart Simpson, a "damned if you do, damned if you don't," situation. Why? Because if i do, I'm some shady underhanded pervert who's trying to get into her pants. But if i don't she'll go on not knowing her worth, not expecting the best for her, and becoming some @$$holes pet. So call it "rescuer" syndrome, or martyr syndrome. Im honestly trying to do the right thing for everyone. If all the @$$holes get the good girls then there won't be good girls left in the world for anyone. Including me, which I'm sure can be interpreted as what im getting out of it, my hidden motive. But its not. I said from the start, we are here for eachother. I'm not gonna lie and say that i don't want a good girl. Of course i do but its not like i see myself with everyone i meet or help. If all the @$$holes get the good girls, then the good girls will be unhappy, the good guys will be unhappy and the only ones that will be happy are the @$$holes and golddiggers that don't care about the good guys that settled for them. Ultimately, i guess this is what I'm afraid of. That I'll never find something real with someone good and real. That I'll end up settling for someone i dont really love out of my fear of loneliness( which BTW is my worst fear).
Thinking about it like that it really sucks. All the good guys will end up just getting with some ugly girl with fake boobs, who was able to seduce him. She'll be only using him for his money and be cheating on him. They'll eventually get divorced. And by that time it'll be too late for everyone. The guy will have no one to turn to because all the good girls already have families, with fathers who probably are cheating on them. Because if they are the type of man who like getting girls who are challenges, that never goes away. They just marry you because they need something reliable. They don't stop looking. You can bitch all you want but its not going to change them. But just so you know. Yes it is posible for a man to not look at other women. You know what i mean. He can see a woman and say yah shes an attractive person, but not be attracted to her. Yah this is all crazy talk. It is a good example of the mind wandering i go through all the time. And yah i was really just thinking, i wasn't staring at you conceited bitch. Sorry.
Drama is part of life but a lot of it is by choice. Some people choose their unhappiness. Why? Maybe because they can't accept a world where they are absolutely happy ( The Matrix taught us that =} ). Maybe they've been taught for years that thats impossible.
Just remember one thing, if nothing else. Not all nice guys are attracted to you. For those of you who think that you can have them anytime you want. You're wrong. They can be just as challenging as any @$$hole jerk. In fact more challenging. Because the @$$holes will give in if they want to get some. But the nice guys won't want anything from you. You really gotta be someone for them to love you. Which is another thing that pisses me off. These nice guys who fall for everyone. You give us a bad name. And also those @$$holes who act like nice guys. WEll i prolly have more to say but im done for now.

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS
You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."

I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually payed some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that get's attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"

More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

http://www.overthelimit.com/article/367/_The_Myth_Of_%E2%80%9CThe_Nice_Guy%E2%80%9D.html

The Myth Of “The Nice Guy”


Sunday was a quiet day in the life of Guy In Trenchcoat. The rain reflected my miserable mood. The local high schools had yet to re-open, so I didn’t have any dates for that night. I decided to hang out with a few friends of mine and shoot the shit. There were four males present and one female acquaintance from work. Over several frosty beverages, we discussed several topics. Undoubtedly, the one that stirred up the most controversy (and actually helped awake one guy from a pot-induced stupor) was the topic of male-female relationships.


I’m sure you have heard women complain that they can’t find a “nice guy”. They are LYING. Women claim they want a “nice guy” because they feel that is what expected of them. The truth is, most women have been approached by these so-called nice guys and want nothing to do with them. Rather, women want the so-called “challenge” that comes with dating a not-so nice guy.


Before we go any further, I should clarify a few things. When I say “nice guy” I mean, your average guy, who is neither an overly cocky windbag nor the kind of guy who is ready to marry the first women who actually responds when he says hello. That may seem like a rather broad term, but there are a large number of males who this description fits. This means you could be the occasional asshole, (who isn’t?) but for the most part, you don’t have too many issues.

I have often heard women complain about men they date falling over them, and practically worshipping them. First off, I don’t care how much a guy digs a particular female, if you constantly kiss her ass, you are hurting yourself. Plus, you make guys in general look bad. So for the good of your gender, for all of us who hate pissing with morning wood, STOP BEING A TOOL. If you have that little self-confidence and act like any women is doing you a favor by acknowledging you exist, you should do one of two things:

1) Give up on finding a significant other

2) Swallow a nice refreshing glass of Drano


Now then, on to females. The “Nice Guy” myth is one of the many reasons guys get frustrated with the necessary evil that is the female gender. What is that women want? “ I need a challenge” is right up there with when guys say “Sure I’ll respect you in the morning.” By that I mean, it’s a crock of shit. Are you that fucked up in the head that you want to date a guy who is going to treat you like crap as opposed to a guy who actually might see you as more than just a hole to stick his schlong in? Are you that bitter about not being asked to the prom by the guy of your dreams that you want to live the high school experience you never had?


The pursuit of that which is not easily attainable does nothing to help the vagina-possessing kooks who do it. We’ve all heard them babble on about how the guy who plays hard to get has “confidence’ and is “mysterious.”


By this twisted logic, only hardcore assholes, the ones who “keep their bitches in check” have confidence. Did these women ever consider that a lot of guys have confidence; we just don’t feel the need to be self-absorbed braggarts? And even when it comes to guys who treat women like shit, who is worse, the guy who does it, or the chick that lets him? I say the chick is worse. Of course a guy is going to push the envelope, it’s not our fault if the female involved can’t stand up for herself. Get a backbone and get to suckin’.


And have you ever noticed that the girls who always get burned are the preachy types? I mean, it’s the girl who is hot and on the surface, pretty appealing. What happens? She gets hurt over and over. But in between her spastic fits of crying like a 6-year old, she never fails to preach at you. She’ll tell you that you are wrong for not calling a girl after a one-night stand. She’ll lecture you for ignoring certain girls. She’ll cry at every movie where the girl gets swept off her feet, hoping that some day her knight will come. And then she’ll go and make herself look pathetic.


The irony in all this is that females who ignore decent guys, guys who are actually pretty normal, and then pursue the guy who does not want them instead, are creating more of a problem. How you ask? Every time a genuinely decent guy gets screwed over, he’s one step closer to becoming a full-fledged asshole. So good job girls, you’ve now helped create more guys who will mess with your head.


I mentioned earlier that certain females seem to want a ‘challenge”, and that’s why they pursue guys who treat them like crap. Well, if they don’t stop acting like psychotics, the more challenges they will get. It will be more of a challenge to come up with excuses about why you were crying in the bathroom at a bar, or why you have black eyes and bruises. After all, people will only believe your story about Rollerblading mishaps so many times before they become suspicious. Unfortunately, this column will probably ring true for a lot of people reading it. The truth sucks sometimes people, as do many women’s twisted relationship choices.

NICE GUYS FINISH LAST
By: Garrett Hols

It’s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole… now this is where the theory begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT naïve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don’t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont “come to her senses” and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies… instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys… they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has listened to it all.

There are situations where no one can win, but everyone can lose. ( I wonder if someone else has already said this, probably)

Today i decided that I will share this blog with someone. Probably as a birthday gift. Although this is only a small piece of what I've written and thought, it still is very personal to me and I've never shared it with anyone or put it in my Buddy info or anything like that. As far as I know i'm the only one who has read this. I tend to write the most important things hard copy in my notebook. So enjoy and always remember, you are very special to me.

It's wise to learn from your mistakes, but it's even wiser to learn from everyone elses.